Weekly weigh-in and a new chapter

So this morning I weighed in at 319.6. My lowest to date! Slow but sure. It's nice to see when I'm not trying - I'm not counting calories and I certainly haven't been exercising.

But that's about to change.

This past week I ended my job as a paralegal. It was time - I didn't want to be an attorney there and I need time off to study for my finals, and in a few weeks, the bar exams. So this week was my last week of full-time employment. I'm very numb. I didn't get much of a send-off, but it was more emotional for me than I expected. It's ending a huge chapter in my life. I'm also finding myself having fleeting panic attacks and "what did I just do?!" moments. After asking myself whether I did the right thing in quitting (money! health insurance! security! eek!), I remind myself of the hell that firm has put me through. The humiliation. The belittling. The public sarcasm. I can't imagine being there much longer and not turning into a giant asshole. So, yes, I did the right thing. I hate this state and can't wait to get out.

So now I have final exams. My last law school classes (EVER!) were this week. I had a lot to drink this week, needless to say. I have three finals (one class already ended) and they're all next week. I have a lot of work to do. But it's nice to know that my time is now 100% my own, and should I be ready to walk on my treadmill for a few minutes, I'll actually have those minutes to give it a go.

I would REALLY like

to eat a meal. Half a meal, even. Just some fricken food! Two bites of
catfish. CATFISH! Mushy, soft fish. Sick. AGAIN.

I'm super stressed right now. This is my last week at my job. I'm
quitting b/c of the bar exam and finals are coming up within the next
two weeks and I'm not even remotely prepared. So apparently this means
I can't eat.

Life at 9.25.. sometimes wide open, other times.. sealed shut

I'm still sick today! Threw up my few sips of protein shake this
morning and was gross and grumbly all morning. I had some applesauce
late this afternoon, and attempted a granola bar. I kept it down, but
boy is my tummy angry :(

Vommmmmms

I ate a few bites of turkey taco meat, shredded lettuce, salsa, and
guac and I've been sick for over two hours. Annoying.

Weekly weigh-in

321.4

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Sent from my mobile device

my port

I'm feeling some port pain today.. maybe pain is too strong of a word.. I'm feeling port soreness today. 

annoyed

ugh.. case of the two-bite voms last night. got sick for a couple of hours. today, I was hungry. ate some applesauce, a few pieces of popcorn, then a few bites of a very soft tuna on rye. sick! that was three and a half hours ago and my stomach is STILL a mess. I've stopped puking but the tea I'm drinking is just sort of sitting there. and I'm hungry! annooooyyyyinnnng. 

Ugh!

I'm fricking STARVING this morning. It's not even 10am!! Eating some hummus and cukes. 

Weekly weigh-in

320.2

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Sent from my mobile device

life at 9.25

haven't been hungry ALL DAY!