Allowing a little food

I'm a few days away from my surgery. I cannot live on liquids alone pre-op (I've done this a couple of times before, remember?) so I allow myself a piece of grilled chicken and a little Bibb lettuce once a day. I'll be doing all clear liquids the day before. But this was dinner:

How did I get here?

Where's my beautiful house?

I wonder all the time - how did I get here? Almost four years ago, I was banded. I was so hopeful. So determined. So.. naive.

After more than three years of eating more than I should one day and puking my guts out the next, I was genuinely worried. I had over a hundred adjustments on my band. I had two under fluoroscopy. No leaks, no slippages, no ulcers. Just weird fluctuations that never caused me to have the same day twice. It was infuriating and exhausting, not to mention disheartening.

I did research, as I tend to do, and decided to get rid of my band. There goes $20k, of course.. since I paid cash for my band (my insurance at the time was deplorable). No matter. Lessons learned. Besides, my band was the first and only tool I've used in my nearly 30 years on earth to lose and keep off 70lbs. That was the most weight loss my poor body had ever seen.

What I decided to do once my band was out was a whole other discussion.

Gearing up

I went to whole foods today. On liquids and feeling shite. Bought some organic chicken and this: