Thursday, April 2, 2009

i'm starving (TMI for the boys, probably)

but it's not b/c of my band. i have a positive side effect to weight loss that to most people is not positive. i have been getting my period regularly for five months now. incredible, since it was pretty much nonexistent for a few years. i'm pretty young and haven't had kids yet (and want several), so a big motivator for me in losing weight was the ability to ward off reproductive health issues that were beginning to become scarily apparent. not having your period for months, then years (erratically here and there does not count, to me) scared me.

anyway.

in august of last year i got it for the first time in ages. however, it was an insane mess. i passed clots the size of tennis balls and was laid up for over a week. never in my life have i experienced such a thing. my bathroom looked like a homicide scene. i almost called the doctor thinking i was hemorrhaging. it lasted about 10 days, severe exhaustion all the way through, and then it was over.

i didn't have anything until late november, clots included, but not as bad. lasted nearly two weeks. then, miraculously enough, i got it again on 1/1 with heavy cramping, etc. this time it lasted a week.

the same thing happened 2/1.

the same thing happened 3/1.

guess what happened on 4/1? i'm amazed. and really happy to be back to normal, although this time the clotting is pretty severe again. i'm really bad about taking my iron supplements (along with all my other vitamins), but i'm making damn sure to take them this week.

is it weird to be happy to have your period (and regularly, and heavily)? is it also weird to have a feeling of satisfaction in passing large clots? for some strange reason i feel like a real woman. being so large makes me feel mannish and unfeminine. then, not having my period for so long just made it worse. now that i'm closer to normal, i feel happy in my femininity - as crappy as it is and as big of a pain in the ass it is to have my period, i'm grateful for it.

however.

i'm STARVING this week. i'm craving salty and sweet and am basically going nuts. both yesterday and today i've eaten a big bag of herr's popcorn (total calories: 490. 35 grams of fat. YEESH) and m&ms. yes i bought chocolate. it started with the small packs from the little deli in my building. today i graduated to the medium-sized bags from the pharmacy. one each of plain and peanut. and popcorn. i am not restricting myself because i don't have any room left in the sanity bank to fight with myself. work has been insanely draining (emotionally) and school has too. oh, and the rest of my life; let's not forget about that, shall we?

i have a lot on my plate for this weekend. tomorrow i'm getting my nails done after work (and getting a tan.. i know.. i'm stopping after my friend's wedding in a few weeks), then trader joe's run.. then tomorrow night i'm eBaying it up. i have a lot to list of my own, and my mum has been on me since thanksgiving about putting her old clothes up. i hope the eBay market is doing better than retail. i have a lot of stuff to move.

saturday will entail (since my house is 100% sparkling clean, due to an impromptu mid-week family visit which i will not go into now) schoolwork. i need to get my paper started for seminar. that starts with research.

i have to fix my dvd player. after a month of ownership it crapped out. this one replaced the other toshiba player that crapped out after about 14 months. these things should not be disposable! if it's not fixable, i'm going to try to take it back to the warehouse store i bought it from, so i'll do that saturday.

sunday will be schoolwork for the week.. and sleeeeep

gotta go read for my counseling class that starts in 1/2 an hour.. posting this from the libs.

peace out,
legally banded

2 comments:

GastricGirl said...

Hey there.. It's perfectly normal to be happy about getting your period. Mine is getting to be regular again too, and it's nice knowing that you're "normal".

As far as being starving, can you have jerky? It's a salty food, yet full of protein..

legally banded said...

you know, the very thought of jerky makes me nervous. it seems like a food that would get stuck.. i wouldn't mind trying it though.. thanks for the tip! do they make turkey jerky?

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