it's been a while, i know.

i've been away for school most of the summer. it was wonderful. i visited four countries and grew as a person. i feel so much more capable to take on the world now. also i feel more relaxed, adopting a very european "whatever will be, will be" kind of attitude. it's faded some in the 3 weeks i've been back at work, but i try to bring it to the surface as often as it's needed. which is pretty often.

i lost 9.6lbs on my trip! it felt good to see such a nice loss (over 35 days). i never counted calories. i ate ice cream at least once a day. i drank a lot of white wine. but i walked the shit out of my new birkenstocks. so much so that i felt different. more capable. more strong.

and i haven't really walked since. a HUGE drop in activity. i feel like i've gained all the weight back and probably then some. i'm also still exhausted, not really having a good solid rest in 8 weeks. i've been sleeping and sitting for the past 3 to rest from the previous 5 weeks! 

i had to go to lane giant the other day. there's a top that i've been dying some plus-size designer to make for ages (boat neck, cutouts on the sleeves so there's bare skin but the top of the arm, so i'm comfortable). i saw it in their ad and contemplated ordering it online, but i decided to go in and make sure i liked it. tried a 26/28 and a 22/24. some of my clothes are 22/24 and others are still 26/28s. i feel more comfortable in 26/28s but i do admit that sometimes a 22/24 looks better. anyway, i tried one of each and the 22/24 definitely fit, and fit well. what i thought was fit is really too big - the 26/28 looked fine to me, but when i tried the 22/24, i could see a difference. the bigger clothes really do make you look bigger! 

i bought a knitty cardi too, in basic black, to replace the craptastic avenue polyester monstrosity i'd been clinging to for three years. i got it in a 26/28 because i like my sweaters big. 

ANYWAY. my story does have a point. as i get to the register, i am chatting with the sales clerks when i mention how much i love this top with the cutouts and it would be perfect if it was not made sheer at the shoulder. the way it's made, i have to wear a strapless bra. the eager assistant (gay man, love love love seeing a gay man working at lane giant. he's FABULOUS) said i should buy a bra with clear straps. i didn't want to spend more money. he saw my coupon and told me i was already at $99, and the bras are buy one get one 50% off. i told him i needed to be measured. i was measured before my surgery last spring and bought a new set of bras with no underwire (i'd not ever worn a no-wire bra, thinking they'd be terribly unsupportive, but these were great!). recent pictures of me, however, show that i need new bras. i know they're big. the extra fabric looks stupid under clothes and i looked downright saggy! i was wearing 46DD bras.

he measured me (after asking if it was ok that he did it, how cute is THAT!) and... 

i'm a 42! woot woot. granted, he measured me at 42DDD, so that's up a cup size, but i'm tickled about the band size, which is what matters to me. he picked out two beautiful bras, one in a 42DD and the other in a 42DDD. i loved them both, and one works with my new top! I spent $100 exactly after my coupon and the sales and got great stuff. oh and i got realwoman dollars to spend in a few weeks. i love a bargain, but i really love the difference in clothes. 

i'll be buying more bras in a few weeks! :)