Sunday, December 6, 2009

Weekly weigh-in and a new chapter

So this morning I weighed in at 319.6. My lowest to date! Slow but sure. It's nice to see when I'm not trying - I'm not counting calories and I certainly haven't been exercising.

But that's about to change.

This past week I ended my job as a paralegal. It was time - I didn't want to be an attorney there and I need time off to study for my finals, and in a few weeks, the bar exams. So this week was my last week of full-time employment. I'm very numb. I didn't get much of a send-off, but it was more emotional for me than I expected. It's ending a huge chapter in my life. I'm also finding myself having fleeting panic attacks and "what did I just do?!" moments. After asking myself whether I did the right thing in quitting (money! health insurance! security! eek!), I remind myself of the hell that firm has put me through. The humiliation. The belittling. The public sarcasm. I can't imagine being there much longer and not turning into a giant asshole. So, yes, I did the right thing. I hate this state and can't wait to get out.

So now I have final exams. My last law school classes (EVER!) were this week. I had a lot to drink this week, needless to say. I have three finals (one class already ended) and they're all next week. I have a lot of work to do. But it's nice to know that my time is now 100% my own, and should I be ready to walk on my treadmill for a few minutes, I'll actually have those minutes to give it a go.

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